The 2 Things Really Insecure People Post To Facebook

Maybe switch to Instagram instead.

People have different levels of comfort zones when it comes to Facebook. But it's not be paranoia when it comes to privacy; it says a lot about their personality types.

A new study published in Personality and Individual Differences explains this. Researchers collected data from 555 Facebook users and found the following four Facebook practices say different things about people's personalities.

THE GOOD:

 

1. They post a lot.

You are addicted to social media. It doesn't matter whether you are posting something important, or just pictures of the meal you cooked that day. What does this mean? There's nothing wrong with you — you're an extrovert.

2. They post or share posts on intellectual topics.

Instead of updating on your personal life, you like to post about TEDTalks or new articles that interest you. Others might not be into it, but this trait is a sign that you're open-minded.

THE BAD:

1. They posts their achievements.

So, you got a new promotion or you just got engaged. What's your first thought? To tell the world about how happy you are, of course.

If your feed is mostly filled with your accomplishments, it's a sign you could be a narcissist who wants to make the world know how much better you are. Not good.

2. They post a lot about their romantic life.

Some people get really dramatic about their romantic life, and think it's for public consumption to copy television and movies. But according to the study, this is a huge red flag.

People who constantly post about their romantic life tend to be insecure. Researchers believe people who post about their partner constantly are compensating when they feel threatened of losing them.

Yikes! It might be time to re-evaluate some things we're posting and work on ourselves.

The 10 Reasons Why Men Cheat

In a previous post I wrote about some of the reasons women might choose to be sexual outside of their primary relationship. Judging from some of the comments that post received, a number of readers thought I might be ignoring the other half of the equation—men who cheat. (The highly misogynistic nature of a few of the comments suggests that at least a few male readers were hoping I’d leave the men alone.) But now that blog is here. Gents, it’s your turn.

Men are somewhat different than women when it comes to cheating, and a lot of that difference arises from the fact that men tend to define infidelity rather loosely. Keep in mind this famous statement: “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.” More generally, most men would say that utilizing porn as a sexual outlet while in a primary, committed relationship is not cheating. (Most women would disagree; for proof, heterosexual male readers could just ask their wife or girlfriend what she thinks.) So does viewing porn count as infidelity? If it does, then a lot of men are cheaters. What about sexting? What if the person you’re sexting with doesn’t live anywhere near you and there’s no chance you’ll ever meet up in person? How about video chat? While you’re video chatting, does it matter if your or the other person’s clothes are off? How about if you are complaining to this other person about your current relationship? etc., etc.

Back in pre-Internet days, the concept of cheating was pretty straightforward: It involved actual in-the-flesh sexual contact. But now, a man in Paris, Texas can mutually masturbate, via webcam, with a woman in Paris, France. And should his wife or girlfriend discover this, he can say, simply and in all sincerity, “Honey, it doesn’t mean anything. She’s thousands of miles away, I’ve never met her, and I’m never going to meet her. I don’t even know her last name. How can I be cheating with someone I’ll never meet in person?” Men, in particular, appear to rely on their intellect—utilizing these kinds of digital word games—in order to continue and justify their extracurricular sexual behavior.

Some men may argue that, as men, it is their biological imperative (or right) to have sexwith as many women as possible. In their opinion, they need to spread their seed and propagate the race because, apparently, they (and they alone) sit atop the Darwinian sexual food chain. I hear this and similar excuses constantly in my practice. Rather than debating the nature of "being male” with such clients, which is hardly productive from a therapeutic standpoint, I remind them that when a man makes a vow of monogamy to a spouse or significant other, and then breaks that vow, he is in violation of a relationship contract. I further discuss with them the idea that infidelity is not defined by any specific act (sexual or otherwise), but rather by the keeping of secrets in an intimate relationship(link is external). I remind them that in an effort to meet their own less than empathic sexual agenda, they have undermined their personal integrity while simultaneously dismissing their partner’s right to know that their relationship rulebook has been unilaterally revised.

To the more determined (read: unempathic or self-focused), I sometimes suggest that it can be fine to be sexual outside of their primary, committed relationship, to chat up old girlfriends on Facebook, hire prostitutes, see strippers, hook up for sex via dating sites and “friend finder” apps, and look at porn for hours at a time—as long their significant other knows about and is OK with the behavior. In other words, a guy can have as much sex outside his relationship as he wants, however and wherever he wishes, as long as he is doing it with integrity—no lying, no double-life, and no keeping secrets from his primary partner.

The underlying message: Honesty and relationship transparency is the only meaningful path to genuine intimacy, not to mention personal integrity and self-esteem. (Needless to say, I’ve had few takers on this suggestion to date, despite 22 years of clinical practice.)

By far the most common justification I hear from men who cheat is “What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.” It never ceases to amaze me how many men truly believe that misguided statement. In reality, most cheated-on partners sense, at the very least, the emotional distancing that accompanies a man’s sexual infidelity and affairs. Let’s face it: If a guy is a good liar, his partner may not know the details of what goes on behind her (or his) back; but betrayed partners nearly always know that something is up. It’s like radar—maybe it’s an innate and unconscious evolutionary trait developed to protect the family from dissolution. But the bottom line is that the cheater never fully gets what he wants—a clean getaway—because infidelity is nearly always discovered eventually, and when that happens it inevitably comes with devastatingly painful consequences.

10 Reasons Why Men Cheat

Men who engage in sexual and romantic entanglements after making a vow of monogamy do so for a variety of underlying psychological reasons:

1. He’s a liar. He never intended to be monogamous, despite his commitment. He doesn’t understand that his vow of fidelity is a sacrifice made to and for his relationship and the person he professes to love. This man views monogamy as something to be worked around rather than embraced.
2. He is insecure. Deep down, he feels that he is too young, too old, too fat, too thin, too poor, too stupid, or too whatever to be desirable. He uses flirtation, porn, and extramarital sex as a way to feel better about himself, to reassure himself that he is still desirable, worthwhile, and “good enough.”
3. He is immature. He thinks that as long as his partner doesn’t find out, he’s not hurting anybody. He doesn’t understand that significant others almost always know when something is up. He doesn’t “get” that his partner will eventually find out what’s been going on, and when that occurs, it won’t be pretty.
4. He is damaged. Perhaps he is acting out early trauma experiences, such as physical abuse, neglect, or sexual abuse. His formative wounds have left him unable or unwilling to fully commit himself to another person. He may also seek sexual intensity outside his relationship as a way to self-medicate (escape from) his emotional and psychological pain.
5. He has unreasonable expectations. He believes that his spouse should meet his every sexual and emotional need, 24/7, without fail. In his narcissistic and self-focused way, he doesn’t understand that his spouse may be juggling multiple priorities (kids, work, home, finances) in addition to him and the relationship. When this spouse inevitably fails him (in his view), he feels entitled to seek intimate attention elsewhere.
6. He is bored, overworked, or otherwise put-upon (in his mind), and feels deserving of something special that is just for him—hiring prostitutes, viewing porn, or having affairs. Or maybe he wants more attention from his mate and thinks a period of pulling away will cause her to comply.
7. He is confused about love. He mistakes limerence—the “rush” of early romance—with love. He does not understand that in truly loving relationships, the early, visceral attraction is gradually replaced by sweeter feelings of longer-term attachment, honesty, commitment, and emotional intimacy.
8. He is addicted. Perhaps he has an ongoing, problematic relationship with alcohol or drugs that affects his decision-making and disinhibits him. He may also have an issue with sexual compulsivity, meaning he uses sexual activity as a way to self-soothe, escape uncomfortable emotions, and dissociate from the pain of underlying psychological conditions.
9. He wants out. He is looking to end his current relationship and is using external sexual and romantic activities to give his wife or girlfriend “the message” without having to be direct. Or, if he is a man who doesn’t like being alone, period, then finding a new and “better” person before leaving a current relationship provides a safer and softer landing.
10. He lacks male bonding and a peer community. Having undervalued his healthy need to maintain solid, supportive friendships and community with other men, his reaction to a busy or distracted spouse is all the more injurious—as he expects all of his emotional and physical needs to be met by this one person.

The Best Way To Inspire Him To Commit

It can be so confusing when a man says he cares for you – even loves you – but is not making any moves to get closer or commit to you.

If you’re finding yourself wondering what’s going on and what he’ll do next instead of just enjoying his attention and affection, you’re in good company.

It happens to so many of us women: We attach ourselves to a man and invest our time and hearts in him, yet he feels slightly beyond our reach. And because we are so attached, we start making excuses for him when he’s not showering us with the attention we crave.

On the one hand, we’re willing to give him his “space” and be understanding about all the other pressures in his life. At the same time, we become angry because we aren’t getting what we want and need. It can get so confusing that no matter what we do, we end up feeling awful.

If We Let People Mistreat Us, They Will

I remember how I used to be so forgiving of the men I was dating, even though it would hurt me. There was one man who took time away from me in order to see an old girlfriend who was in town visiting. Yet I kept on seeing him, even though I knew he not only wasn’t committing to me, he was humiliating me!

I’m telling you this embarrassing story so that you won’t accept any kind of behavior that doesn’t feel good to you.

Having learned some hard lessons and cried the tears that go with them, I’ve gotten very good at expressing my displeasure in a way nearly anyone can hear, and in a way my husband just adores.

Because, believe it or not, the Tools I teach you don’t get tossed out the minute you’re married. You’ll want to use them for life so your man will keep falling in love with you forever.

You Don’t Want Him – You Want A Real Relationship

This may sound simple enough, but most of us do just the opposite. Being aware that your priority is a real relationship is something we often forget. We express, sometimes over and over again – with words, our body language and things we do – that he is what we want.

“No man should ever feel like he’s your man of choice, he’s your “One,” or that you’re only seeing him. Not until he’s committed.”

When we get so focused on the need for any one man, it’s easy to get blinded. That’s when we start making excuses for him that may in fact be relationship deal breakers for us. If what you want is an exclusive relationship, yet you keep seeing him if he wants something else for fear of losing him, you’re really only losing yourself and all that is important to you.

How To Get a Commitment Without Asking For It

If, instead, you speak your truth, then you are honoring yourself without putting pressure on him. You could say something like this:

“I don’t want a boyfriend. I’m looking for someone to walk off into the sunset with and get married and have a family. And so I don’t want to get exclusive with anyone until that guy shows up.”

And that’s it. You don’t ask him for anything. You also continue dating other men until you have the commitment that makes you happy. I know this is hard, but trust me when I say you are doing the best thing you possibly can to ensure your happiness. No man should ever feel like he’s your man of choice, he’s your “One,” or that you’re only seeing him. Not until he’s committed.

This is actually the way dating used to work in the old days. Take my aunt, who has been happily married for several decades. She once told me how, when she got engaged to my uncle, she had to write three “Dear John” letters to men she was seeing! And, by the way, she said this to me as my uncle was sitting right beside her with a glint in his eye. My aunt was a smart lady: She was taking care of herself first by making sure she was committing to the right man – someone who completely adored her and wanted to give her his heart forever.

This Is The #1 Thing All Guys Are Looking For In A Girl

Guys aren't all about your boobs or legs — they're mainly after your brains! That's right, according to new research from professor David Bainbridge of the University of Cambridge dudes just want a slice of that big, beautiful brain of yours. Boom chicka wah wah.

According to the research, it's because your smarts indicate you'll be a good parent one day, so it's really an evolutionary thing so our population may continue to thrive.

So next time you see a cute dude across campus, perhaps try wowing him with that large-and-in-charge cerebral cortex and not with a push-up bra. (Or stay home and watch Netflix with your dog.) (Not that that's exactly what we're doing right now.) (It is.)

10 Things Good Men Will NEVER Do (As Written By A Good Man)

You deserve, at least, this much.

I find lately that any time I write an article outlining certain traits of men or how we "should" or "shouldn’t" act in a relationship (I have to be careful with those words because people often accuse me of telling everyone how to act…) that I get plenty of backlash from those who disagree with what I'm saying because men do not realistically act in these ways.

First thing's first: Good men do act in these ways. If you are going to put an asterisk on behavior that's to be expected from well-adjusted, emotionally stable, good man, then you're not dating a good man. Here are a few things that should make you strap on a jet pack and full throttle it in the other direction:

1. A good man will never pick apart your looks.

 

"Oh, if only your hair was a little longer." "If only you lost those couple of extra pounds." "If you would only wear more makeup." A good man will never take jabs at your appearance in a way that's demeaning to you or makes you feel badly about yourself. If he is doing this, he's purposely attempting to lower your self-worth so you won't feel confident enough to leave him. It's his way of trying to control you and it's emotional abuse. Walk. Away. Now.

2. A good man will never invade your privacy.

In a healthy relationship, there is no need to hide anything. Texts, emails, facebook messages, whatever. But that doesn’t mean your partner has the right to snoop through them if you happen to leave your phone around or your computer open. Someone who does this is showing a massive insecurity on their part and is likely projecting their own infidelities and issues onto you. This should not be ignored.

*Note: This is assuming you haven’t done anything that would make him suspicious or betrayed his trust.

3. A good man will never discourage you.

A sign of a person’s confidence in themselves is how they help to support the ambition of others. A good man will always be willing to help and support those around him and will never be discouraging or insulting.

4. A good man will recognize your value; he will not make you feel the need to prove it to him.

The minute you feel that you have to prove your worth to the person you’re with is the minute you’ll know to walk away. A man or woman should be with you because they value and appreciate who you are, not what you do or how well you sell yourself to them.

5. A good man will never make you feel like an afterthought.

While a relationship shouldn’t be someone’s entire life, it's certainly a large part of it. I’ve heard too many stories about women who constantly get cast aside for "guy’s night" or something similar. A man should have have a network and individuality, sure. But there is a difference between leading an active social life, and knocking the woman in your life further and further down your priority list. If you feel like you’re waiting for him to come home more than you’re actually with him, it’s time to step back and take another look at where your relationship is going.

6. A good man will never make you feel like you are alone in the relationship.

Relationships are a partnership. A team. A two-way street. They’re supposed to enhance your life, not complicate it. If you're with a man who is complacent in life and love, puts no effort into you or the relationship, then it’s time to re-evaluate. Keep in mind, it’s natural for people to get depressed and unmotivated at times. If this is someone you’ve been with for a long time, I’m certainly not saying kick him to the curb at the first sign of a slump. We all go through them. What I’m referring to here is someone who is simply apathetic and makes you feel like he doesn’t care. You deserve someone who will wake up every morning and pledge to do and be the best they can for you.

7, A good man will never cheat on you.

There are plenty of arguments in the world that monogamy is not "natural" and that humans are not biologically wired to spend an entire lifetime with one single person. Regardless of the scientific validity of this statement, one thing remains true: Monogamy is a personal choice made by two people in a relationship. There is literally nothing physical binding two people together; just a decision. A good man will never cheat in a relationship because cheating means going back on his word or breaking a promise he has made to someone he loves.

8. A good man will never disrespect you.

Easy, simple, basic - but often overlooked. A good man will show respect to everyone around him. He will not be condescending or put anyone down, regardless of intelligence level or professional position. As the saying goes, ‘a man of quality is not afraid of equality.’

9. A good man will never avoid important conversations.

Whether it be between family members or in a relationship, a good man understands that no problem can be resolved until it is faced. The only thing that avoidance of difficulties will accomplish is delaying the inevitable and potentially making things worse. There is a difference between choosing your battles and avoiding conflict altogether – the important thing is to know when to hold ’em and when to fold ’em.

10. A good man will NEVER abuse you.

There are many different types of abuse, certainly not just physical and certainly not just in a relationship. Someone can be emotionally abusive toward a child or pet as well as their significant other. Regardless, they all have one thing in common: The desire to break another down. A good man recognizes that his confidence and worth comes from within himself and never from attempting to place others below him. At any sign of any type of abuse, walk (run) away immediately. It will not get better, and you deserve more.

We need to stop making excuses for those who mistreat us and start lowering our tolerance for this nonsense. Any self-respecting decent human being will treat you with the love and compassion that you deserve. If they don’t, then what’s the point of staying with them?

Meet This Adorable 102-Year-Old Man and His 91-Year-Old Lady Friend

Are you sitting down? Because we're about to lay some serious, heart-melting, weak-knee-inducing cuteness on you. You've been warned! George Kirby, a 102-year-old man in East Sussex, U.K., has popped the question to Doreen Luckie, his 91-year-old sweetheart. Since their wedding day, June 13, is Kirby's birthday, they'll share 194 combined years between them when they get married. That puts them in the running for the "oldest newlyweds in the world" throne, which isn't a thing we realized existed, but now we do and we absolutely love it.

Guinness calculates the oldest newlyweds in the world by combining the number of years and days each person has lived on the day of the marriage, according to company rep Kristen Ott (via ABC News). These two lovebirds submitted their engagement to the Guinness World Records, but to officially nab the title, they'll need to wait till they make it legal on their wedding day.

So, how does the happy couple feel about all of this? Pretty calm and rational. "You hear so many people living into their hundreds now, and lots of people in their nineties, I thought, Well, we can’t be the only ones,” Luckie told Metro UK.

10 Things Never to Say to Couples Without Kids (PHOTOS)

No matter if you're engaged, married, or simply in a long-term partnership, there comes a time when it seems like everyone wants to know extremely personal details about your relationship. And that period of time when you're quite serious with your sweetheart but not yet parents seems to trigger seriously wacky, sometimes thoroughly clueless remarks and inquiries.

Whether you're an uber-curious future grandparent or simply the BFF of DINKs (AKA Dual Income, No Kids), here are 10 things you may want to avoid saying to your favorite child-free couple.

1. "Have you started trying yet?"

2. "You're so lucky you get to sleep in/travel/spend your money on irresponsible things!"

3. "You'll see when you have kids!"

4. "Oh wow, you must've partied HARD last night, right?! Gosh, I miss those days!"

5. "Being around kids must be like birth control for you!"

6. "Yeah, definitely have sex/enjoy your marriage now, because after kids, nothingis the same!"

7. "You think you're tired now? Just wait 'til you have kids!"

8. "You're so lucky it's just you two!"

9. "You just don't understand what love is until you have kids!"

10. "So. When ARE you finally gonna have kids??"

Have you heard or said any of these?

3 Easy Ways To FINALLY Break Your Bad Relationship Habit

Stop living in the past.

Does this sound like you? Over the years, you've jumped into a series of relationships, all of which ended badly. It's not that you're actively searching for the wrong guys, but for some reason that's all you end up attracting. Some days you feel like there are just no good ones left. But on other days, when you keep seeing the common denominator in your bad relationship equation is you, you're left wondering... Is it me?  

It's normal to question things when nine times out of ten, everyone you meet turns out to be a total dud. The truth is that we all go through rough patches.  And just because you've had your fair share of it, doesn't mean that you don't deserve happiness. 

It takes two to tango; chances are the underlying issues in your previous relationships involved the both of you.

The only way you can get yourself back on your feet is by completely eliminating the idea that you are the only one at fault. Regardless of the circumstances, everyone deserves to be happy.

With that in mind, here are three ways authors Charles Orlando, John Gray, Life Coach Barbara Schiffman, Counselor Kelly Crossing, and Hypnotherapist Laura Rubinstein share how you can improve your outlook on love and finally get the happy, safe, and long-lasting relationship that you want.

1. Face your feelings head on.
Laura Rubenstein raises an excellent point when she says, "If you're aware that you feel undeserving, you can change that."

2. Stop living in the past.
Dwelling on things you can't change only forces you into a self-imposed funk. If we actively worked towards improving our future instead of focusing on our past, so many of our issues would disappear. Kelly P. Crossing said it best when she stated, "Who we've been in the past absolutely does not have to dictate who we are in the future."

3. Remember that every relationship is a learning experience.
It doesn't matter how horribly our relationships end. We're constantly shaped by the people we meet. Barbara Schiffman mentions that, "Taking credit for what [you've] learned along the way makes [you] feel as if [you] are deserving. You've earned the right to have what [you] want now."

It makes sense. By acknowledging everything that your past relationships have taught you, it reinforces the idea that your relationship was not a failure even though it failed. You can choose a different ending to your next story. You just have to decide to stop repeating your negative patterns and learn from your past instead of being controlled by it.

That's one lesson you can take on your next date for sure!

Do NOT Marry Someone Until You Can Honestly Answer These 20 Qs

You *must* have these internal conversations before walking down the aisle.

Maybe you've been together a while and are considering taking a big step, or perhaps you just started seeing one another and aren't sure if you should stay the course.

Whatever your situation, a check-in is never a bad thing. Read on for 20 tough questions to ask about your relationships before moving forward.

1. Is for better or worse making me better or worse?

 

Does your partner encourage you to be your best self, or does he or she get intimidated by any triumphs and feel more secure when you're not putting your best foot forward?

2. Do we really accept one another?

There will always be things you want to change about the people in your life, but no one should be in a situation where they feel they aren't allowed to be authentic and accepted as the unique, special (yet flawed) person they are.

3. Who am I? 

How can you know if your partner is a good match if you have no idea who you are?

4. Am I happy to be in this relationship?

The idea of sharing a life together is not to find someone to complete you or make you happy. But let’s face it: being unhappy at home can seep into other areas of your life ... and fast. If you're always fighting or just generally not feeling great about your twosome, it doesn't mean you have to bail out (counseling might be a good option) but marrying someone in the hope that it changes things is a bad, bad idea.

5. Am I feeling trapped? 

Do you really want to be in this relationship the majority of the time or do you find yourself wishing for a way out? Do you stay because you've invested time or are you really invested in your mate?

6. What am I doing to hold us back?

Maybe you could be more attentive, more thoughtful, quicker to let things go, or the first to bring up going to counseling. Whatever it is, take this as your sign to step up.

7. Is this relationship balanced?

Do you feel you're both on the same page in terms of compromise, care, support and sacrifice? Or is one of you doing most of the giving while the other just sits with their hand out?

8. Can we have fun together?

Have you ever seen two people sit across from one another in silence at brunch as though they are being forced to walk through their day together? Not. fun.

9. Can we have fun apart?

Co-dependency ain't cute, y'all.

10. Why am I in this relationship?

Is it because you respect, love, trust, and value the person you are with? Or because you're afraid of being alone, worried about finances, or have built a life you're scared to leave?

11. Where is this going?

Living in the "now" is great, but eventually the partnership will need a plan or someone will begin to feel anxious.

12. Do I really trust my partner? 

For some, the immediate response to this can be devastating. If you're one of them, it's time to ask why and how you can begin to build or rebuild trust. Without it, there's no chance.

13. Am I with a good person?

Knowing what you know about your partner today, would you vouch for them if they were a friend?

14. Am I attracted to my partner? 

Physical attraction is hardly the most important component in a relationship, but forcing yourself to be in a relationship with someone who you're not attracted to — just because it's comfortable or "perfect on paper" isn't fair to anyone. You will feel resentful and they will feel rejected.

15. Am I a parent or a partner? 

Taking care of someone you love is a great thing to do, but when you feel like you're raising a boyfriend — or worse, a husband — things get a little complicated. You'll resent his childish ways. Who wants to sleep with their mom?

16. Does my partner have my back? 

Do you feel like you're a part of a loyal team who stands up for one another, supports one another, and shows a united front (even when the other is not around)? Or, do you feel like you're constantly being thrown under the bus by your mate?

17. Are we looking in the same direction? 

Some couples avoid having the big talks (religion, marriage, babies) because they think that, somehow, these things will just "work themselves out." By the time they realize they won't, they're in a complicated, painful situation that leaves one (or both) feeling a little bit duped.

18. Are we growing together?

Being a human being living on this earth, we all have a right to grow and develop, and create a full life for ourselves. Are you and your partner still indulging in your passions (individual and shared) and growing as individuals?

19. Am I still me? 

Being in love with someone should not require changing our identity to fit someone else's idea of who we should be, on any level.

20. What is my gut telling me?

5 Things That Are Total Mood Killers (According To Men)

These things will make you go from killing it in the bedroom...to just plain killing the mood.

And you thought just nagging him to death or dragging him to the latest rom-com blockbuster were the ultimate no-nos. Turns out, in the world of love, there are more than a handful of moves that can turn a guy off. Here, five of those things that might unexpectedly launch him right out of bed:

1. Your tears 

A study published in the journal Science found that when men smell women's tears, they became less sexually aroused and were less attracted to the same women than when they smelled a saline solution that was dribbled on the women’s cheeks. Researchers think this may illustrate a biochemical cue women give off to non-verbally communicate, "Not tonight dear," particularly when we're PMS-ing or having our periods. Seems like the researchers simply didn't quite know what else to make of it, and therefore had to go and blame everyone's favorite sexist scapegoat, The Crimson Wave. Nonetheless, the writing's on the wall: If you want to keep him hot and bothered, it might pay to curb weepiness. 

 

2. Painted-on pouts

Many of us never outgrow wanting to play "dress up." We wander the aisles at Sephora searching for the ultimate pink lipstick or super-thickening, lengthening mascara. It's a win-win, right—we have fun playing with makeup, and the result is looking gorgeous. But apparently, men aren't as enthusiastic about it. A recent survey found that one in five men wished his partner would tone down their makeup, while one in ten said he liked women au naturel. If your guy falls into either category, you may do well to tell him, "Fine, but don't you DARE sneak a selfie with me or you're outta here!"

3. Porn 

You're thinking, "What, how can that be???" The occasional skin flick is probably no big thing, but experts say men who frequently view porn may develop unrealistic expectations of women's appearance and behavior, have difficulty forming and sustaining relationships and feeling sexually satisfied.

4. Fruity (or foody) scents

If you think you're going to get his motor running with that cotton candy or creme brulee body cream, think again. According to a scent test done by editors at Cosmopolitan, sugary-smelling, fruity or lollipop-ish perfumes make guys think of the candy store or the kitchen, not the bedroom. The better pick: Eau de Dove soap. Guys seem to prefer to steam it up with gals who smell like they came straight from a sudsy shower.

5. Soy

He might think he's being healthy—and saving you the anguish of dealing with the byproducts of his lactose intolerance!—when he chooses soy milk for his protein shake, but if you know what's good for your sex life, you'll tell him to step away from the soy! The isoflavones in the plant are similar to estrogens in the body, which can have a libido-quashing effect on men. In fact, there's a rumor that monks actually eat soy to stave off sexual urges.

The 5 Best Fashion Items From Each Decade You Should Be Wearing Now

We Millennials are the most gifted of all the fashion generations. Why?

Because we don’t just follow the trends; we recreate them. We are the first to take styles from past decades and rock them all at the same time.

They say this is the summer of the 70s, but why stop there?

Just like any classic movie-loving cinephile, a well-rounded fashionista knows each decade has great material for inspiration.

Midi skirts are practically the new poodle skirt; frayed jean shorts are fringe’s updated counterpart and flared jeans are the skinnies’ older sister.

If these comparisons sound like absolutely gibberish, don’t get your high-waisted shorts into a twist.

We’ve got it all laid out for you. Here are the vintage fashion trends Millennials are bringing back today.

1950s High-Waisted Shorts

Why they work:  The high-waisted short is a flattering bottom that adds shape to the waist (and conceals those love handles!). It’s perfect if you’re looking to give your bottom half an “hourglass” look.

What to wear with them:  Pair them with a crop top or a bodysuit. Wearing a crop top will give you the opportunity to bear slight midriff without going all the way, while a bodysuit is a top you wont have to constantly worry about tucking in.

What not to do:  Refrain from buying a pair in your exact size. Try going a size bigger so your shorts don’t get a case of the munchies — AKA eating your crotch.

1960s Shift Dress

Why it works: The shape of the shift dress is as simple and timeless as can be. It can be both dressy and casual.

What to wear with it: You want to keep it simple when it comes to a shift dress. Try pairing it with a bold pair of tights and white shoes, or your favorite statement necklace.

What not to do: Shifts come in all colors and patterns, which means you should be conscious about doing too much. These dresses are meant to be simple, don’t overdo the easy canvas with too many accessories.

1970s Bell Bottoms

Why they work: Bell bottoms are a statement of their own and give any outfit just a little more flair.

What to wear with them: Try playing up the look with a loose-flowing top or a t-shirt, along with a pair of cowgirl boots. Throw on a statement belt to complete the ensemble.

What not to do: Be conscious of how long/wide your bell bottom is. You don’t want your precious denim dragging all over concrete. Wearing the right shoe is key to leveling your flares.

1980s Denim Jacket

Why it works: Denim jackets can be worn with almost anything. Owning a good denim jacket is like finding a favorite bottle of wine — you’ll always reach for it.

What to wear with it: Denim jackets pair nicely with anything from leggings to sundresses.

What not to do: If you choose to wear denim on denim, make sure each item goes with one another. Denims that are too similar in color read ill-fitting jumpsuit.

1990s Crop Top

Why they work: When paired with the right bottoms, crop tops are universally flattering. Plus, they create an interesting silhouette beyond the basic camisole.

What to wear with them: Pair any crop top with a high-waisted skirt, short or pant. Bellybuttons are for the beach.

What not to do: Crop tops can be easily read as distasteful. Make sure that when you’re rocking one, you don’t just throw it on with anything. It’s best to wear a crop top with more modest bottoms.