Putting your best foot forward is so important when you are looking for your fairytale, Cinderella. You can’t just wait around hoping for a glass slipper to magically appear on your dainty foot. You need to be proactive about making things happen. Online dating is just one way to take your destiny into your own hands.
The foundation of any story ending in happily ever after is made from the letters that form the words. Here is an alphabetical list of all the things you should consider leaving off your online dating profile to find your once upon a time (a collaboration with an insightful Tinder match).
Online Dating Profile ABC’s
A – Aggression
“If you don’t like what I’m about, just go ahead and move along!” That’s exactly how dating works. They look and see. If they aren’t interested, they will move along (you don’t even have to suggest it.) Just try being passionate about the stuff you love. They will be able to tell what’s a deal breaker from your enthusiasm.
B – Boredom
Are you looking for a partner or a cruise director? Erase “bored” from your vocabulary. Boring people get bored. You’re fascinating. Don’t let them forget it. Invite them to be part of your world that is already amazing. Don’t give the impression you need someone to be your whole world.
C – Creepiness
Before you send a message, ask yourself if you would say that to a stranger in a grocery store. If the answer is no, then don’t say it to a stranger on the internet. Reconsider using 69 in your username unless you are 46 years old this year. Keep it classy.
D – Duck face
This is the most cliched pose on Instagram since forever. Unless it’s you holding a duck you lovingly rehabilitated in a wildlife sanctuary, show that you’re a grown ass woman who doesn’t resemble fowl.
E – Essays
Keep it short and sweet. You want to go for lunch, not make the person pack a lunch to read all about who you are. Be succinct. Everyone is busy.
F – Foul language
Be accessible. There’s just no f*cking point in scaring people off needlessly. Get a thesaurus, show off pretty words that send the same message.
G – Generalizations
“I’m not like other girls” or “Most guys…” Stay away from stereotypes as much as possible. Show that you see people as individuals. Nobody likes to be typecast.
H – Humble brags
“I guess I’m just a simple girl looking for a guy to help drive my yacht. I don’t really know how. #FirstWorldProblems” Just don’t. It makes you look douche-y and condescending. Don’t be a snob.
I – Intrigue
A little bit of mystery is great, but don’t leave them chasing smoke. Be real, be you, be upfront. Leave a little something to talk about on the first date, but don’t leave them wondering who they are taking out.
J – Jealousy
You don’t have to compete with anyone to impress people. You have cornered the market on being you. Just be yourself!
K – Knockoffs
Be authentic. Don’t be a copy. Make your online dating profile unique to you.
L – Lies
Tell the truth. Give them a chance to get to know the real you. You’re awesome.
M – Money
It’s nobody’s business what you make. It’s a turn off and it makes you look superficial. You want people to chase you for who you are – not what you have.
N – Nastiness
Be polite, inviting and welcoming. Roll out the welcome mat.
O – Old Photos
Share recent snapshots so they know what your current life looks like. Save the cap and gown photos unless you graduated this year.
P – Proper English
Hold off on the text speak until you get their phone number. Full sentences are really sexy. They show you are putting in effort to communicate clearly because you want them to receive your message.
Q – Questions that are just too personal
Some stuff doesn’t need to be advertised – like grooming habits, for example.
R – Racism
Don’t make racial generalizations.
S – Self-deprecation
Don’t put yourself down. Show that you value yourself and that you expect others to value you too.
T – Thief of joy (Comparison)
“You’re so much smarter than the last guy I dated” Don’t compare. You don’t compare to anyone they have met before. Let them be original too.
U – Underwear
Private fashion shows are probably best. Be a Victoria’s Secret Angel in person and knock them off their feet.
V – Vaguebook
You’re looking for a partner, not a zookeeper, so don’t be a drama llama.
W – Whining
Don’t complain. Light attracts light. Shine brightly.
X – Exes
Omit photos of and references to them. Show that you are ready for the next chapter and aren’t re-reading the last one.
Y – Your contact information
Stay safe. Keep stalkers away by not being too accessible.
Z – Zero boundaries
Know what you are willing to accept. Ask for the respect you deserve. Stick to your guns.
Craft your online dating profile to show off what a modern day princess you really are. Your fairytale awaits! Go out and find it.
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