5 Tips for Planning a Vacation as a Couple (Without Killing Each Other)

It's hard to believe after the frigid tundra we all had to endure this past winter, but the beauteous season of summer on its way! And that can only mean one thing: It's time to go on vacation. If you're dating someone, you might be somewhere between the first and final stages of planning a romantic getaway together. In that case, you probably know that organizing a couple's trip is enough to elicit panic, elation, the silent treatment, and anything in between. Luckily, Jane Greer, Ph.D., New York City-based relationship expert and author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship, has a few tips that will keep you sane and help you get those tickets booked.

1. Dream big. The best part of planning a vacation together (besides, you know, going on said vacation) is getting all worked up about how wonderful it's going to be. "Ask each other your ideal vacation vision. That way, you'll know what you're each hoping to do on the trip," says Greer. Start with the biggest, loftiest goals (Scuba diving at the Great Barrier Reef? Taking selfies with giraffes in the Sahara?) then try to incorporate as much of those ideas as possible.
2. Then get practical. OK, so you probably can't swing a four-week surf vacation on the sands of Costa Rica. "Consider how much time each of you can be away from work or other commitments, then use that to help you both make a decision about where to go and what to do based on the element of practicality," says Greer. It seems obvious, but so much vacation stress comes from trying to pack too much into your trip when it just isn't doable. So, if you've only got a week, don't try to see seven cities in Europe. Save it for another time. 
3. Create a bucket list. No need for a super-regimented itinerary if that doesn't naturally work for you two, but once you lock down a destination, decide on the things you both really care about doing. "If you're clear and upfront about how you hope the trip will go, you can avoid either partner being upset and angry because the vacation doesn't go the way they expected," says Greer.
4. Agree on alone time. Whether you're dating an introvert, happen to be one yourself, or just need some alone time on vacation, make sure you're on the same page so no one feels put-out. Then, be crafty about the scheduling. "For example, maybe one partner goes out on the beach and the other gets a massage," says Greer.


5.Focus on both of your needs. And here's the most important one that can make or break both the planning process and the trip. "Approach planning a vacation with your partner by embracing the compromise concept," says Greer. For example, when you're picking a destination, you should both offer your top picks, then narrow it down. If there's one part of planning that you absolutely can't stand, like looking at TripAdvisor reviews, he should take that on with the understanding that you'll handle something he hates in return. If you're into relaxed vacations while he's more of the active type, you can go for a hike, followed by a lazy beach day, or even alternate taking an "active" vacation this time and a more lax one next time. You get the picture.